I have a lot of thoughts during the day, but no one seems to want to hear them. Maybe if I expand my audience, I'll discover someone who cares, or that they are, in fact, stupid ideas.

12th January 2012

Photo with 18 notes

While everyone else was busy being dismayed by how terrible NBC’s Wednesdays have become, I stumbled across this show, called Mobbed. It sounds like one of those dumb crime dramas that exist for three years before you hear about it from your parents, but it’s actually a show in which Howie Mandel and his various hats use large groups of dancing people to force other people to do things.  These things include: get married, meet their secret four year-old grandson for the first time, or in the episode I saw last night, let someone they met on the internet move into their house. I’ve never witnessed a flash mob, but I would imagine it’s pretty awkward to just be out somewhere and suddenly everyone around you starts dancing and they’re blocking most of the exits so you just have to sit there and smile and pretend that it isn’t embarrassing for everyone involved. Now imagine if you were literally the only one not dancing and you were being filmed. This show is so uncomfortable to watch it should be illegal, and it kind of is since most of the episodes basically end in date rape.  The episode I saw last night was about a guy in a band called Punchline, who played one show in LA five years ago, met a girl named Dana’s friend and through her, starting talking to Dana daily on the internet. We only hear the dude’s side of the story the whole time, because he’s the one who’s going to use a flash mob to get his way. After five years of being internet friends, and jacking off furiously to her Facebook pictures, he decides that he’s going to surprise her by moving to Los Angeles so they can get to know each other, but only if she’ll let him move in with her. It’s weird. But luckily, Howie Mandel can make it weirder. Howie Do That? More like Why-ie Do That?, because none of this makes any damn sense.  They plan a flash mob based around Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” and the movie Big Fish, because it was something they talked about online, probably five years ago when the movie was only two years past its relevance. Anyway, they spend forty minutes of the episode showing all the planning that goes into a flash mob, and if you thought the finished product was a waste of time to watch, wait till you see the rehearsals. They take a short break to show a PA pulling a white hair out of Howie’s nose, because that was way more interesting than watching 400 “free spirits” get yelled at through a megaphone. With 20 minutes left in the episode, they started the whole goddamn thing by having the girl go on a staged bad date with an actor who looked like Christian Bale, but with the wit of Howie Mandel through his earpiece. Even the way they cut it together, they couldn’t make it not look awkward as he sat there waiting for the next hilarious thing to say. Even though he told her she needed enhancement in her “chestal area,” she was still pretty into him. Then he stood up and said “I want you to want me” and everyone stood around awkwardly for literally 25 seconds, just waiting for the cue to start dancing. It was horrible. Then the dancing started and it got worse. They danced and danced and threw her in an elevator even though she has crippling claustrophobia, then danced some more and then the dweeb from the internet came walking out and she said, “Oh my gawd” in the most disdainful way I’ve ever heard. And then he led her through some more dancing and he sang with an acoustic guitar.  Then after recreating a scene from Big Fish with yellow umbrellas, he asked her if he could move in with her, or if he should take the truck full of everything he owned, which was parked right next to the mob, and drive it back home.  She cried a little, probably not for the right reasons, and said yes, then stood there holding his hand awkwardly while being grilled by Howie. It was definitely the creepiest method I’ve ever seen for a “nice guy” to get out of the “friend zone.” The show is trying really hard to be fun and whimsical and inspiring, but it’s just so fucking creepy and uncomfortable. There’s a good reason this show only exists to be shown on random nights before American Idol starts again. If you’re ever looking for a show to watch when you want to feel bad for everyone, I would recommend this, but who knows when it’ll be on the air again.

While everyone else was busy being dismayed by how terrible NBC’s Wednesdays have become, I stumbled across this show, called Mobbed. It sounds like one of those dumb crime dramas that exist for three years before you hear about it from your parents, but it’s actually a show in which Howie Mandel and his various hats use large groups of dancing people to force other people to do things.  These things include: get married, meet their secret four year-old grandson for the first time, or in the episode I saw last night, let someone they met on the internet move into their house. I’ve never witnessed a flash mob, but I would imagine it’s pretty awkward to just be out somewhere and suddenly everyone around you starts dancing and they’re blocking most of the exits so you just have to sit there and smile and pretend that it isn’t embarrassing for everyone involved. Now imagine if you were literally the only one not dancing and you were being filmed. This show is so uncomfortable to watch it should be illegal, and it kind of is since most of the episodes basically end in date rape. 

The episode I saw last night was about a guy in a band called Punchline, who played one show in LA five years ago, met a girl named Dana’s friend and through her, starting talking to Dana daily on the internet. We only hear the dude’s side of the story the whole time, because he’s the one who’s going to use a flash mob to get his way. After five years of being internet friends, and jacking off furiously to her Facebook pictures, he decides that he’s going to surprise her by moving to Los Angeles so they can get to know each other, but only if she’ll let him move in with her. It’s weird. But luckily, Howie Mandel can make it weirder. Howie Do That? More like Why-ie Do That?, because none of this makes any damn sense. 

They plan a flash mob based around Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” and the movie Big Fish, because it was something they talked about online, probably five years ago when the movie was only two years past its relevance. Anyway, they spend forty minutes of the episode showing all the planning that goes into a flash mob, and if you thought the finished product was a waste of time to watch, wait till you see the rehearsals. They take a short break to show a PA pulling a white hair out of Howie’s nose, because that was way more interesting than watching 400 “free spirits” get yelled at through a megaphone. With 20 minutes left in the episode, they started the whole goddamn thing by having the girl go on a staged bad date with an actor who looked like Christian Bale, but with the wit of Howie Mandel through his earpiece. Even the way they cut it together, they couldn’t make it not look awkward as he sat there waiting for the next hilarious thing to say. Even though he told her she needed enhancement in her “chestal area,” she was still pretty into him. Then he stood up and said “I want you to want me” and everyone stood around awkwardly for literally 25 seconds, just waiting for the cue to start dancing. It was horrible. Then the dancing started and it got worse. They danced and danced and threw her in an elevator even though she has crippling claustrophobia, then danced some more and then the dweeb from the internet came walking out and she said, “Oh my gawd” in the most disdainful way I’ve ever heard. And then he led her through some more dancing and he sang with an acoustic guitar.  Then after recreating a scene from Big Fish with yellow umbrellas, he asked her if he could move in with her, or if he should take the truck full of everything he owned, which was parked right next to the mob, and drive it back home.  She cried a little, probably not for the right reasons, and said yes, then stood there holding his hand awkwardly while being grilled by Howie. It was definitely the creepiest method I’ve ever seen for a “nice guy” to get out of the “friend zone.” The show is trying really hard to be fun and whimsical and inspiring, but it’s just so fucking creepy and uncomfortable. There’s a good reason this show only exists to be shown on random nights before American Idol starts again. If you’re ever looking for a show to watch when you want to feel bad for everyone, I would recommend this, but who knows when it’ll be on the air again.

  1. doyourwardance reblogged this from oldtobegin and added:
    Holy shit, that poor woman. The fuck? gross.
  2. thenewhotness reblogged this from avodka-kedavra and added:
    This makes me laugh really hard. If this show and MTV’s Friendzone had a baby it would have the superpower of making...
  3. oldtobegin reblogged this from nervousrex
  4. avodka-kedavra reblogged this from nervousrex and added:
    This is so fucking scary.
  5. nervousrex reblogged this from cosmicfriend and added:
    THIS IS HORRIFYING
  6. cosmicfriend posted this